Sunday, July 11, 2010

IS 2 out of 3 really good enough?

Today's sermon also comes from the Book of Meat Loaf, verse Ain't No Way:

The snow is really piling up outside, I wish you wouldn't make me leave here.
You've been cold to me so long I'm crying icicles instead of tears.
You'll never find your gold on a sandy beach
You'll never drill for oil on a city street
You're looking for a ruby in a mound of rocks


There ain't no Coupe de Ville hiding at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box.

Amen! Truer words have never been mumbled by a rock star!

Children, I know some of you are confused as to what brother Meat is trying to say here, but if we take the time to ponder his wisdom it becomes very clear. The whole passage is just another way of saying, "You don't love me and I don't love you and we ain't no good for each other baby." To be sure, it's better for a woman to be rejected in love than to be killed in a defective car on a railroad track. No one would disagree with that.

However, when you WANT somebody, and you NEED somebody, but you are NEVER gonna love somebody, then that is only 2 out of 3. Two out of three IS bad, and we want to be GOOD.

Of course it is obvious that The Loaf is talking about the temptations of the flesh and is putting forth the question of whether being two-thirds GOOD will be enough to open those pearly gates for us when the time comes.

Children, it sounds almost plausible, but that is a lie from HELL! In order to make it to heaven, you have to be ALL GOOD! hallelujah!

St. Meat couldn't get this girl out of his heart. Of course he is talking about sin and not a girl.

"And though I know I will never get her out of my heart..." Yes! Meat was shackled by sin! Meat knew he should be 100% GOOD, but just couldn't get her (sin) out of his heart.

I know you are thinking that Mr. Loaf would have done well to contact St. Brian Wilson's spiritual leader, Rhonda. Rhonda helped HIM get sin (his old girlfriend) out of his heart. Amen. And maybe Rhonda could have helped St. Meat as well. Maybe RHONDA can help YOU become GOOD!

Yes, maybe you should just get down on your knees and say, "Help me, Rhonda, help help me Rhonda, help me Rhonda, please... get 'her' out of my heart."

Two out of three just doesn't cut it. Let us pray.

Those of you who brought your $100 dollar bills for our current "Heavenly Faith" project, be sure and leave them in the lockbox by the door. Thank you for coming to church this morning, children. Coming, and giving, makes you GOOD.


Linda said...

There's too much arithmetic involved in human relationships it seems. After all, The Beatles were confused about needing their girl's love eight days a week, Meat Loaf has problems with two out of three, Air Supply wants to make love out of nothing at all, and 50 Cent can't count as he actually had 27 questions and not 21. Is it any wonder that man strays?

Oh, and I neglected to bring a $100 bill so I guess that makes me bad - very, very bad!

Relax Max said...

Bite me, padre.